


A Walk in the Park

by thenightwingfan



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series), Teen Titans - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 14:38:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11580102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenightwingfan/pseuds/thenightwingfan
Summary: Robin's losing his seemingly endless supply of hope. As Slade's apprentice he contemplates how much everything has changed.





	1. Chapter 1

The Teen Titans: self-righteous, brave, courageous and a dedicated team of heroes.

Robin was a firm believer that his team made a difference. From the depths of his heart, he believed that the Titans were a symbol of hope. Maybe it was just his habit of trying to find the best in people, but he thought their flaws made them strong and unique. 

But he was wrong about the Titans… he knew that now. They took away his hope, and what is a person without hope? 

“You ready?” Slade called out patiently.

“Uh, yeah one second,” as he reached for his gear, his eyes caught on the monitor broadcasting the news. 

And there they were, saving the day and shaking hands. His eyes lingered on her and her expression, her body language…her bright green eyes. He was torturing himself – and he knew it – but it was all he had. 

It was like picking off an old scab as he watched the blood slowly ooze out, morbid curiosity maybe?

He quickly turned his back and walked out of the control room.

“Ready.”

<><><><>

As he was taught, he completed the mission objective. No matter the cost. 

Closing his door behind him, he peeled off his black costume and threw it in his laundry basket.

He threw himself on his bed and stared blankly at the ceiling. He turned his head and peered out his window to the vast forest that surrounded the house. Even now, he still searched the skyline for something he knew he couldn’t see. 

He missed them. If that made him weak so be it. Lying to himself only gave Slade more power over him and he would be damned before he let that happen. 

He sighed and turned his back to the window. He fingered the stray thread from his comforter and slowly his thoughts gravitated back to the Titans. 

Why didn’t they do more to help him? Did they so blindly turn their backs on him, or was there a part of them that still believed he could still be saved? It definitely felt like the former but he couldn’t differentiate the two anymore.

At the beginning, they were what held him together. If he could believe that they would never give up on him, he could continue on. 

He tugged the thread and tore it from the comforter. The satisfying pop pulled him back to the present.

"They will never give up on me," he whispered.

<><><><>

“If you stopped pulling your punches, you’d take them down in half the time.” 

“I’m not—”

Slade cut him off. “Don’t lie to me.” 

He opened his mouth to reply but Slade held up a warning finger. Dick nodded in resignation. 

“Yes sir.”

<><><><>

He had stopped like Slade had asked. His attacks became borderline brutal because he just wanted it to stop—to make them stop. 

He didn’t want to face them. He didn’t even want to look at them.

God they hated him. 

He was starting to hate them too. 

<><><><>

Batman was so close to figuring it out. 

He had been right there, standing at the cusp of the truth, and then Parallax created an interplanetary crisis and the truth had all been but forgotten. 

Slade, knowing Batman was on his trail, made sure to hide the nanoprobes in the Titan’s bloodstreams. Dick suspected he called in a favor with Felix Faust to make his problem “magically disappear”. 

His life as Slade’s apprentice was swept under the rug and was never uncovered. 

Batman was the last hope of a desperate boy. But that was then and this is now. He wasn’t a boy anymore and he didn’t need Batman; no matter how desperate he had become. 

Within the first two months of the apprenticeship, he had lost everyone. All he had for company was the devil himself and Wintergreen. It didn’t matter; he was going to get out of this by himself. Afterward… well he didn’t have a plan.

Slade—in cruelty or kindness, Dick wasn’t sure which—let him keep tabs on the Titans and Batman. 

Research, he called it, both comforted him and tore his heart out. He would sit there and analyze their pictures. It was the only time he ever saw them without the usual hatred in their eyes. 

One day, he just stopped. He stopped keeping tabs on them because the truth was too much. They were moving on without him. 

<><><><>

“MAYOR WELCOMES NEWEST TITAN” was displayed in bold on the Jump Times. 

The newspaper smacked against the desk. Slade looked up as Dick took a step back from him. 

Dick ran his fingers through his hair and frowned. He nervously wiggled his fingers and tried to shake the nervous energy out of his hand. 

“I know I’m not in a position to demand things, but I need information on her.”

“Correct, you’re not,” Slade said slowly, “why?”

“I want to take her down,” Dick replied grimly. 

Slade lips twitched and for a brief moment, Dick thought he’d say no. But then he smiled and turned towards his computer. 

“If you want information on her, you’ll have to recover that yourself,” Slade typed something into the computer. 

Dick kept his posture rigid and nodded. 

“I’ll allow you access to the main computer, provided you keep in mind our arrangement.” 

Slade pressed a few more keys and then backed away from the computer. 

The tension bled out of Dick’s shoulders as he said humorlessly, “Yeah yeah, I try to contact them and you kill them.”

“Good boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this story on FFN years ago. I tried to rewrite it as a one-shot but I got carried away lol.


	2. Chapter II

_Two days later_

He sat on a billboard, hidden from view, as he watched the Titans fight the H.I.V.E Five. He didn’t know what the Five were after but he didn’t really care. All he cared about was watching Terra. 

“Renegade.” 

Dick pressed the comm, “Yes?”

“The longer you stay there, the more at risk you are of being seen.” Slade’s impatient tone bit at his ears.

He knew he should leave but he needed more. 

Dick watched Terra as she hurled a chunk of the earth at Jinx. He took note of the yellow hue that radiated from her when she used her powers. Her hands also shook and she was often thrown off balance. Was it magic or an actual ability to manipulate the earth?

He really needed a closer look. 

Before he could think better of it, he said, “How mad would you be if I went down there myself?” 

The comm was silent, and then, “Angry.”

“Like kill-my-friends angry or extra training angry?” he paused, his heart rate compelling him to continue speaking. “I need to see her up close, I can’t gauge her from up here.”

Silence. Dick could hear his heart thrumming in his chest. He could only hope Slade would see the value in getting a face-to-face interaction with her.

“Go but be smart,” Slade said finally. “Keep the conversation to a minimum.”

He didn’t reply and sprang from his position and leapt down to the rooftop. He had two seconds top before someone spotted him, but he took the time to figure out his game plan. 

Then, he threw a smoke bomb and jumped in to the fray. 

“—Robin!”

“—Renegade?” 

The Titans and the Five’s shouts clashed as the smoke cleared up. Despite him working for Slade for three months now, the Titan’s still struggled with the name change.

Renegade only had eyes for Terra. She looked confused, she searched Cyborg’s face but his face was hard as stone. She then glanced at Jinx, whose face mirrored Terra’s confusion. 

“Uh so is he on our side?” Gizmo pointed at the silver insignia on Renegade’s chest.

All at once the Titan’s attentions were focused on the silver S.

Cyborg charged, effectively breaking the confusion that kept the Titans stock-still. The Five fell into step near Renegade. He paid them no mind. 

He used Cyborg’s momentum to dodge his punch by grabbing onto his arm and twisting behind him. He placed a small explosive on Cyborg’s back and detonated. Cyborg was propelled forward by the blast and into a nearby building.

Starbolts and dark energy started flying towards him but he somersaulted backwards and dodged them. 

A flying chunk of sidewalk was hurled in his direction but Jinx cast her powers and it shattered the rock. He nodded at Jinx and used her distraction to throw an electric disk at Terra. 

The disk hit its mark and she convulsed from the energy. 

To his shame, he felt amused as she hit the ground. He took a step toward her but something stopped him. 

Yellow energy burst from her hands and the earth began to shake under his feet. The ground underneath Terra split from the earth and into the air as she struggled to get back on her feet. 

She huffed and brushed her hair out of her face. Her blue eyes startled him as she turned to face him. She yelled and soon rock came flying towards him. He ran in her direction and avoided it by flipping towards the rock and using his hands to push himself in front of it. 

He rushed forward and crouched down and swung his leg underneath Terra’s. Her legs buckled under his but she regained her footing and clawed at him. Her eyes glowed wildly as pieces of earth came flying towards him. 

There was no rhyme or reason to her attacks, only blind rage and pure instability. A chunk of asphalt grazed his forearm. He ducked behind a car and took a moment to breathe and threw a smoke bomb.

He had seen enough to know what he was up against.

The black gas erupted from the bomb. Another piece of the earth came flying at him and this time it hit him in the chest.

The pressure on his chest made it impossible to breathe as he struggled to get back up. He fought himself and forced his legs to get up.

While he had been on the ground, he hadn’t noticed that Terra’s attack of flying asphalt hadn’t just hit him. Beast Boy was pinned by the arm a few feet away from him. His green face was contorted in pain. When his gaze flickered towards Renegade, his eyes held a grief so deep it aged his face. 

“Leave now,” he heard Slade say.

Terra ran to Beast Boy and started apologizing profusely. He waved his free arm trying to play the injury down. 

Renegade shook his head. So Terra was dangerous because she had no control. He had singled out her greatest weakness without putting in any real effort. If he could figure it out that quickly, he could only imagine what other villains would do with that knowledge. 

He took a second to glance back at Terra and Beast Boy. Noting the look in Beast Boy’s eyes when he looked at Terra, he raised an eyebrow. Another weakness. 

He should leave before the Titans rounded up the Five and turned their full attention to him.

He turned around and Starfire stood inches before him.

“You must surrender Robin,” she said. 

Her voice sounded so soft and sweet, it made him sad. He turned his head back towards Terra as she lifted the rock trapping Beast Boy. If he focused on his original objective, he could block her voice out. But she was so close he could smell her perfume. 

“You are turning into something you are not.”

His eyes are torn away from Terra and he zeroed in on Starfire. 

“You have no idea,” he took a step back and dropped a flash bomb.


	3. Chapter III

_A month later_

Things had gotten worse.

He had tried to exploit her weaknesses. He tried to take Slade’s guidance but the Titans refused to give up on Terra.

He fucked up and he knew it, but he had to prove she was dangerous.

So he had cornered her away from the rest of the team. He had gotten her to run down to the tunnel system on her own. He’d waited to corner her until someone had the Titan’s attention. 

Renegade approached her silently. He could hear the Titans above and he felt the earth shake occasionally above them. 

She looked at him then, fear stopping her from getting any closer to him. 

He regarded her again before he spoke.

“You can’t control your powers.”

“That’s not true,” she said, looking down.

He was now inches away from her. She could feel his warm breath on her face, sending chills down her spine. 

“You’re going to hurt people,” he said, narrowing his eyes. “You’re a liability, one that I can’t afford.”

Terra looked down at her hands. They were shaking and to her dismay, yellow energy surrounded her fingers.

“You don’t know me,” Terra said angrily. 

“Don’t I?” he taunted. He moved away from her and started to walk around her. “Tara Markov?”

She spun around to face him. The earth around them started to shake and gravel fell loose from the walls. “Stop,” was all she could say.

He took a moment to watch her fear take hold of her. Yellow energy started to burst uncontrollably from her fists. 

“You’ll lose control and end up killing someone you care about, like Beast Boy,” he said, looking pointedly at her hands. “Leave Jump City, or I’ll make sure the Titans will know about your control problems.” 

“Shut up!” she yelled. Gravel from the walls started flying off and started to kick up around her. She looked up at him, her eyes completely glowing with yellow energy. He backed away, his hands brushing up against the wall. 

He thought to himself then that maybe he had overestimated her instability. He hadn’t said much, but what he had made tears stream down her face. 

He could feel the earth start to tremor beneath his feet. He took a step back. As the seconds passed, he could feel the tremors getting stronger. The flying gravel started spinning faster around her until he could hardly see her. The yellow energy emitting from her was the only way he could make her out. 

It looked like she was hovering above the ground, in the center of it all. She had her head in her hands and was cradling herself like a baby.

Feeling anxious at her meltdown, he called Slade over the comm. 

“She’s going to trigger an earthquake.”

He didn’t get a response. He didn’t know how he could stop her. The damage of his words had already done too much. 

A large chunk of the wall came flying at him. Dodging it, he tried again to contact Slade.

“Slade?”

“Let her.”

He looked at Terra again. If he let her do this, it would prove his point. The Titans would be safer without Terra, hell, Jump City would be better off too. 

Before he could try and talk himself out of it, he turned and bolted, leaving Terra in her mess. 

She ended up triggering a 5.6 earthquake, destroying a portion of downtown. There were casualties and a death. Dick knew he was at fault.

It only brought the Titans closer together. By trying to warn them and get rid of Terra, he gave them a real reason to hate him.


	4. Chapter IV

The Gotham Gazette appeared on his bed one day. 

He picked up the paper and it crinkled in his grasp. He pulled the front page taut and in the bottom left column, he saw the headline.

BRUCE WAYNE ADOPTS SECOND SON

He smashed the paper into a ball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter but next one's a long one


	5. Chapter V

_Three months later_

Starfire stared up from the ground at him. 

Slade and him had just completed a contract when the Titan’s had arrived. They fought, nearly destroying a few buildings in the process, but ultimately Slade and him came out on top. 

He looked back at her and silently pleaded with her to stay down. 

Even after all this time, he still wanted to be with her. He missed when she would come to him and ask questions about earth. 

“Renegade,” Slade said and pointed down at her.

She was so naïve then, but now, covered in bruises and dirt she looked anything but. The hurt in her eyes betrayed so much of her anger toward him now and he has a hard time remembering the way she used to look at him. 

He pointed his stun gun at her and pulled the trigger. 

Her cry hurt him more than anything else in the world.

But he knew that it was better knocking her out now than him hesitating and Slade using deadlier methods of taking her down. 

It was for her own good.

They stopped being strangers from harming each other a long time ago. The few one-on-ones they’ve had, neither of them walks out unscathed. 

He looked at Raven on the ground adjacent to Starfire. He never really had time to get to know her. They’d only been together as a team for a few months. For Christ’s sake, he hadn’t even told them his real name. 

She was beautiful and her dark aura drew the team to her. He had wanted to get to know her better but something always stopped him (that something often being Slade). He was wary of her at first because none of them knew the extent of her powers. 

He had decided to push away his suspicions and almost at once she started to open herself up and trusting the team. He liked Raven.

She fucking terrified him now. 

Drawing him away from his thoughts, Slade said, “Let’s go.”

They took off on foot, jumping from rooftop to rooftop to get to the car. Renegade huffed as he landed wrong on his left leg. He rolled to break his fall but his leg suddenly seared at the sudden pain. It made him pause for a moment, which made Slade look back at him. 

He realized then that his leg was bleeding. He used two fingers to wipe away the blood and inspected the dark red that now covered his glove. Slade tore a piece of cloth from his costume and ran over to him.

“What happened?” Slade asked as he tied a makeshift tourniquet.

Through gritted teeth, he replied, “Must’ve been Beast Boy. He swiped at me earlier…as a tiger, I didn’t realize it was so bad.”

Slade offered up a hand and Dick shook it off, opting to pick himself up. 

“Come on, we’re almost there,” Slade said, shaking his head.

They crossed a few more rooftops before dropping down to the parked SUV. 

Beast Boy used to shy away from drawing Robin’s blood. Sure, he would attempt to knock him out with a big animal, but never an animal with claws. He looked so angry tonight, as if he couldn’t believe that Rob—Renegade—would take part in killing someone. 

Dick missed his laugh. He even missed BB’s terrible jokes; god knows Slade’s no comic relief. Beast Boy reminded Dick a lot of his younger self. 

He's, beyond any doubt in Dick’s mind, the one that changed the most after everything.

The only time he talks anymore is to check on the others. Those stupid childish quips never echo through Dick's ears as they used to and the only expression that's ever present on his face is a snarl. 

He’d be a better fighter if he didn’t spend so much time and energy on trying to impress Terra. Who herself hated Renegade for what he did to her.

As they got into the car, Dick pulled the med kit from the back. He tore off the tourniquet and pulled up his pant leg. The four cuts in his leg only seemed to be a quarter-inch deep at the most, so he taped a bandage over his leg. 

Slade looked over at him from the driver’s seat, “What went wrong with that contract?”

Dick tore off his mask. His skin stung for a moment and he started to rub his forehead. He knew Slade was only asking him this question to prove that he had, in some way, done something wrong. Slade liked to call it a learning moment that would benefit him in the long run.

He sighed and rested his head against the window.

“Cyborg must have set up a special alarm and tracking system specifically for us,” Dick said finally. 

Slade nodded, gripping the steering wheel tightly he said, “They’re getting smarter.”

“Not smart enough,” Dick murmured so that Slade could barely hear. 

They had driven out of the city by now. The trees started to thicken and the streetlights were few and far between. Slade pulled onto a side road and the car started to kick up gravel. 

“What do you suggest we do about Cyborg’s new trick?” Slade asked.

Dick knew what the easy, less-dangerous answer would be, but he couldn’t find the words to say it. Cyborg would have only extended his tracking system to Jump City, so the danger only lay in the area. If they left Jump, and probably even California, their contracts would go undisturbed. 

But that wasn’t really a solution. It was a band-aide. 

He went with option B.

“We crash his system,” Dick said, looking at Slade. “We’ll have to infect him. The Titans will bring him back to the tower and when they connect Cyborg’s power cord, the virus will spread throughout the tower’s entire infrastructure.”

Their safe house came into view. It was a small cabin covered in dark oak that blended in fairly well to the surrounding trees. Slade pulled into the drive and parked.

Slade pulled off his mask and said, “Well then, let’s get to work.”

They both got out of the car. Dick limped slightly and went straight for the shower. 

He closed the bathroom door behind him and leaned against the door. He walked over to the shower and turned the hot water knob. Steam slowly started to rise from the glass shower so he undressed and stepped into the steady stream of water.

He didn’t want to hurt Cyborg. But to create a virus that infected him and the entire tower’s systems would have to have some serious power. 

Cyborg’s smart though, Dick reasoned with himself. He could repair the damage a virus would create. His will to give it all would drive him to fix the damage Slade and him left in their wake. 

Cyborg had taken up leadership of the Titans after Dick… defected. Being a leader suited Cyborg. He’s the only one that keeps a clear head when Renegade and the Titans clash. 

To his own surprise, Dick was the most disappointed by Cyborg. The probes had been activated in the first days of his apprenticeship, so why didn’t Cyborg follow up that lead? 

The early days of the apprenticeship seem so far away and blurry. A sharp memory came into focus and without thinking about it he rubbed his shoulder. Cyborg had made improvements on his sonic canon in the first few weeks after Robin disappeared. He landed a lucky shot on him. His skin was blistered for weeks.

Slade had talked about leaving Jump, at first Dick dreaded the idea, but as of late that’s all he wants. The Titans may hate him for “betraying” them, but he kept finding himself blaming them. 

They should have discovered the truth by now. He should be sitting in the tower with his name and honor intact. He should still be Robin. 

It’s not that he needed fame and glory. He’s been in the public eye for so long, as both Dick Grayson and Robin. He just missed the sun. 

Maybe his private and superhero life drew Slade to him. It must be satisfying to know that the legendary Batman lost his sidekick to him, an assassin-for-hire. 

Slade knocked on the door then, calling through the door, “Five minutes.”

Dick sighed. “Okay.”

He turned the water off and stepped out. He wiped the mirror with his towel and stared at his face.

How the mighty have fallen. Batman wasn’t coming. The Titans aren’t either… He didn’t need them anymore. His path as Robin had ended. There’s no turning back, he’s a killer and heroes aren’t killers. 

He has to accept the situation and move on. 

No one will care if he's broken, in fact they'd probably expect it and be happy about it. So for now, Renegade will find a way to benefit from this apprenticeship. He’ll destroy Slade from the inside and he’ll do it on his own. 

Maybe sacrificing his humanity will be worth it. It’s not like he has an option anyways. 

Slade knocked again, and Dick swore under his breath. “I’m coming!” 

He looked in the mirror again and said quietly, “I hate you Slade.” 

But he didn’t really mean it.


	6. Chapter VI

“Why do you think he chose me?” Dick asked Wintergreen. Wintergreen stopped stitching the deep gash on Dick’s arm and looked up. 

“You’d have to ask him yourself.” He inserted the needle back into Dick’s skin and pulled the thread through. He tied the end off and put the needle on the side table. “There, all done.”

“Thanks,” he replied. 

“He’s complicated, as I’m sure you know,” Wintergreen said and frowned, “But he is one of the most sought after assassins in the world. Whether you like it or not, his knowledge and skill set are invaluable.”

Dick nodded and stood up from the examination table. He winced as he tried to straighten his arm and walked to the door. 

“Sure,” he said and left the med bay.

As he walked through the haunt, he realized he had been with Slade for almost a year. In that span, Bruce Wayne had declared Richard Grayson missing and he was now presumed dead. 

Batman had his new Robin now and the Titans had its new leader. To make traveling easier, Slade had gifted him a new name, social security number and passport. Richard Wilson. 

How fitting, his whole life now revolved around Slade anyways. 

He walked into the living room and saw Slade sitting on the couch working on his laptop. The television was broadcasting BBC News but the sound was muted. 

It seemed so ridiculous, Deathstroke the Terminator, master assassin and evil genius sitting on a couch being human. How did this become a normal part of his life, he wondered. 

Oh yeah, Dick thought, because Slade’s always three steps ahead of everyone. He doesn’t let anyone control him, not even when he accepts contracts. In that way, Dick wanted to be like him. Who wouldn’t? He’s experienced the side of the criminal. He’s found an understanding to it more so than when he was Robin. As much as he hates it, he can’t deny that Slade has taught him a lot.

He thought back to what Wintergreen had said and sat on the unoccupied space on the couch. Slade didn’t acknowledge him but continued typing. Dick picked up the remote and turned the volume up just above the sound of a whisper. 

Slade eyed him then and without stopping his work said, “It’ll be a year that you’ve been here next Tuesday.” 

“I know.” 

He watched the news and a comfortable silence fell between them.

<><><><>  
END  
<><><><>


End file.
